I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
