First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
