So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
