dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Randomize