next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
