gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
did i walk over a car last night?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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