Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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