oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
