If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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