Apparently you make a good broom.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
