apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Randomize
