At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
