your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
