Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
