i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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