I need to stop coming to work sober
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
