I like to think it a success when the cops are called
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
