I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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