I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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