They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
it's not cheating when I paid for it
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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