They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
