GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
