mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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