And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
