is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
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