It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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