Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
