i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
