what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
