Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
