Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
