When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
