lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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