Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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