Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
