I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
