I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
