This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
