What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
