I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
