I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
