I'm passing your future prison.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
