So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
