im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
