It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
