Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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