so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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