my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
