Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
