There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
