Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
