I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
