i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
